Continuing On

I apologize for the strange post last night. Sleep deprivation + wine = a very weird blog post.



Continuing on..

I noticed looking upon my blog homepage today that I have someone who actually visits this thing - so to that one person lurking my very sad* blog, how do you do?


*sad as in I only have like 3 posts in a span of a year.


Continuing on..

I wanted to get something out of my system briefly -
I'm not doing this to insult this person or to degrade them, although it may or may not be fair to do considering the past circumstances.

Edit: After reading the post beyond this point, it seems really cruel and mean.
These are my raw feelings and this needs to come out somewhere.
That somewhere is here.


You continue to try to reach me, to speak to me, and to guilt me into responding.
I feel terribly sorry for you. I wish I could help you. I tried until I couldn't.

I sat up many nights, a mess. You asked why I couldn't sleep - and I told you I just wasn't tired.
But I lied. I was so incredibly tired of how I was treated that I entered a comatose state of numbness.
I resent the amount of time I spent trying to work it out. I knew I would fail. And I did.

I should have ended it way before I did.

Everyday was a new insult, or the same old ones.
Bitch, Annoying, Slut..
I drew the line at slut. I know I can be a bitch and I can be annoying.. but slut is one thing I am not.

How could you look me in the face and say you loved me when all you did was break me down till I was nothing but a puppet for you to play with?

In the last few days I've been shown that I, nor anyone should ever deserve your treatment.
In the last few days I've been so happy. (Something I didn't think was ever possible).
In the last few days I've adapted a sense of hope that i'm not so fucked up and that someone can appreciate all the things that you couldn't.


I feel nothing for you. You've hurt me so much that you don't exist to me anymore. So now I'm going to be..

Continuing on.